Tatler - horror stories for toffs

There are some brilliant representations of what it means to be 'posh' here and some clever writing. I particularly like the one about courgetti (courgette cut into spaghetti-shaped strips). Anyone fancy trying their hand at writing their own two-sentence horror stories? They could be for any group e.g. Bristolians: I'm a retired bus driver and I just bought a house without checking the address. It's on Cheers Drive.